'DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL'

'We'll not ask you if you're a religious zealot or other religionist who discriminates against non-Christians or non-Judeo-Christians; or if you're a heterosexual who discriminates against non-heterosexuals. As long as you don't tell us, we'll receive you in our service and be proud of you.'

64.LSW-65th Mid-Southeast

EARTHY IRRELEVANTISM

If extraterrestials found the phrase The woman turned off the gas in an English grammar book, they would stand there in utter complexity, wondering what on Earth could be the relevant connection between turning off the gas and the sex of the one turning off the gas.

41.ESE-65th Early Southeast

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO DISCOVER

In Australia they have found 'enough natural gas to keep a city of one million inhabitants going for 800 years', they say. What they forget in Australia and elsewhere is that a city of one million at present will be a city of 150 million or so in 800 years, if humans go on multiplying as they have been doing until now, without population and family planning, the most important thing to discover.

64.LSE.-65th Equatorial Month

PTL

Does PTL stand for Praise The Lord or Pity The Ludricous?

42.MNW-65th Late Northwest

ANTITERRORISTS IN UGANDA

Ugandans, too, have signed a petition asking their parliament not to enact a terrorist heterosexist bill. (This bill, thought up by Abrahamic religionists, does not even confine its regime of terror to homo- and bisexuals by demanding the death penalty for certain forms of homosexuality, it even extends the terror to heterosexuals who 'fail' to report others, like their own child or patient, to the authorities.)

65.ENW-65th Mid-Northwest

THE FIGHT AGAINST ANTISEMITISM

Antisemitism will have to be combatted in two different ways: (1) (directly) by fighting against anti-Semitism; and (2) (indirectly) by fighting against (exclusivist) pro-Judaism or pro-Semitism. The two will always evoke each other, as both of them propagate an exclusivist attitude towards Jews or Semites.

42.LSE-65th Early Northwest

A GIANT LEAP, A BIG MISTAKE

The first human being landed on the moon, while making a mistake. It was, perhaps, one small step for a man, but it was definitely not 'one small step for man'. It was a giant leap for man, that is, for mankind or, rather, humankind.

64.ESE-65th Late Northeast

'REPRESENTATIVES OF ALL RELIGIONS'

When conservatives think of 'representatives of all religions' in their government, i.e., of all Christian and Jewish sects, then, as a conscientious nonreligionist, you feel treated like scum.

26-27 aSWW-65th Mid-Northeast

THE FOURTH MIDWINTER DAY

Adherents of a certain Abraham religion often insist on celebrating the fourth, or even the fifth, Midwinter Day. They may do so, but, if they get paid for their work, let them take one or two days off then.

37.ENE-65th Early Northeast

MOZI'S UNIVERSAL LOVE, 24 CENTURIES AGO

'If human beings were to regard the conditions of others as they regard their own, who would raise up 'er state, city, family or friends to attack the other?'

64.MNE-64th Late Southwest

SICK PARASITES

People who refuse to give their organs away on religious grounds, but who are eager to receive them when they are ill themselves are sick parasites.

60.LNE-64th Mid-Southwest

DOUBLE DUTCH

What do you get when a fertile Dutch man and a fertile Dutch woman copulate without using a contraceptive?

64.ENW-64th Early Southwest

NOT EATING WITH JEWS OR MUSLIMS

If a Sikh does not eat with Jews or Muslims, it should not be because refuses to eat with them, whatever it is, but because 'e should not eat the meat of animals killed in the Judaist or Muslim fashion. And that is or may be right, however wrong the Sikh creed is or may be in other respects.

56.LNE-64th Late Southeast

A PRETTY AFFORDABLE PAST TIME

Some write about 'a pretty affordable past time', but the past is entirely affordable, unless, perhaps, you have not yet paid off old debts. It is the present time which is not always affordable, dependent, of course, on what kind of pastime you find yourself enjoying.

64.MNW-64th Mid-Southeast

THE FAST FOOD OF FANATICAL FAITH

Evangelicalism is the fast food of fanatical faith.

44.NML-64th Early Southeast

HOW 'ALL THAIS' ARE MONARCHISTS

Monarchists (Thai and foreign) cannot but repeat that 'all Thais love their Royal Family'. Why, then, must it be treated as a serious crime not to revere the Monarch and His Family? And why, then, do Thai authorities have to close down 2,000 to 3,000 websites in one short period which are said to offend the same familially exclusivistic establishment? It demonstrates again that, in the end, there is a majestic chasm between monarchy and democracy.

64.ENE-64th Equatorial Month

UNDER THE RUG

The Judaist rule that a Jew is someone whose mother is Jewish, designed to define away everyone who is not fully Jewish, sweeps, in a hypocritical, sexist manner, the existence of partially Jewish human beings under the rug. In this respect it is no different from the racist rule of hypodescent in which every hybrid is completely assigned to the race of only one parent, albeit the race which is considered inferior.

42.LSE-64th Late Northwest

THAT OF AN AUCTIONEER

What profession involves crying a lot?

63.EQU-64th Mid-Northwest

IN THE SANCTUARY OF PLURALISM

Nowadays perhaps as many intrinsic and fundamental values, virtues, duties and rights live in the sanctuary of pluralism as once the number of gods in Mecca, that is, about 360. But just as under the primacy of divine authority polytheism was at the time succeeded by a monotheist doctrine (Muhammad's), so the present 'poly-value-ism' (value pluralism) will, under the primacy of the denominational norm, be succeeded by a monistic doctrine that recognizes only one value at the highest level, or one value for each of a few essentially different spheres of reality.

45.MNW-64th Early Northwest

DOWN WITH MICHELANGELO

Joseph Ratzinger, formerly with the Hitlerjugend, now Fuehrer at the Vatican, will not allow homosexuals to defile the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel any longer.

63.MSW-64th Late Northeast

THEIR GOALS ARE GAOLS

The goals of retributive deontology are gaols.

41.LSE.-64th Mid-Northeast

BABYLONIAN LOVE

'Be pleasant to your enemy; return good to one who does evil to you.'

62.ESE-64th Early Northeast