FREE WILL FOR DUMMIES
IN A JIFFY
Quentin: "Andrea, do you have
know, i'll have to ask my past and present
environmental factors first."
Q.: "What about your future environmental factors?"
A.: "Oh, i don't have to ask them: they depend on me!"
71.LNW-71st Late Southwest
I've heard Afrikaners jokingly say that Dutch is 'extended Afrikaans',
because Dutch often has one or more extra letters where they have
been dropped by Afrikaners.
But my Webster's Dictionary says that avondbloem (a
southern African irislike bulbous plant, now enjoying the name
aandblom) is 'obsolete Afrikaans'.
Are these two things together not a bit like calling French "obsolete
PREACHING TO THE OSTRICHES
The so-called 'animals'
Francis of Assisi
preached to were no more than ostriches.
71.VNW-71st Early Southwest
TRAIN OF THOUGHT
The two words in happy hour and in mercurial mind just do
not alliterate, and no train of thought will make them so.
71.MNW-71st Late Southeast
THE 'LATEST' WAR
Too bad latest cannot be used for wars but only for news,
fashionable styles and examples of technological development, otherwise
we could have hoped that the latest war is also the last one.
DUTCH MINISTER A CRAZY
It is the year 2008 of the Christianist Era.
The Dutch Minister for Youth and Family Affairs is André Rouvoet,
super-Protestant and equally ignorant of the basics of science.
Sixty-three years after the end of the Second World War this Minister in
the Dutch government claims that belief is nothing else than a form of
(Perhaps confused by the notion that knowledge is a form of belief, a
belief based on certainty?)
In Rouvoet's eyes both religious and scientific knowledge derive from
The poor creature is just not familiar with something like the validity
of arguments, whether written down in a book or not, and with the need
of evidence, whether written about in a book or not.
In what sad state does the government of the
(Northern) Netherlands find itself when
a minister does not see the difference anymore between texts with
sensible arguments and texts which pass them over mythically and
dogmatically, and still dares to say this out loud?
63.ESW-71st Early Southeast
WHY TO CUM IS WRONG
If ejaculation were a question of cumming, you would say "I cummed" after
the event, but it is "I came".
Therefore, however regular the ejaculation itself may be, the verb used
for it is still the one, irregular to come-came-come.
Those who regret this will either have to start using the regular past
tense cummed or content themselves with their or their man's cum
only (an uncountable noun).
69.ENE-71st Central Month
A DEBATE ABOUT (BODY)
It is the year 2005 of the Christianist Era.
The Dutch Minister of Education, Culture and Science is Maria van der
Hoeven, super-Catholic and equally ignorant of the basics of science.
Sixty years after the end of the Second World War this Minister in the
Dutch government wants a so-called 'scientific debate' between adherents
of the evolution theory and believers in Intelligent Design.
Today, the Minister of Education also argues in favor of biologists,
psychologists and medical experts starting a conversation with
Scientologists who claim that mental problems are caused by Thetans or,
perhaps more precisely, the body Thetans of murdered space aliens that
lie dormant in your brain.
Or, is this new piece of information wrong?
Wrong, because the minister does not belong to the Scientology Church
and, much more importantly, that particular Church does not threaten us
with terrorist attacks either.
60.ESE-71st Late Northwest
IF THERE WERE A CREATOR
OF DEITIES ...
If there were a creator of deities, in the singular or plural, this
primordial creator of creators and sublime person of persons would have
made at least one god that, using his own image to shape lifeless matter
into the best of beings on our planet, would have endowed every such being,
a man, with a great but limited number of spermatozoa (say, the number of
that god's good properties, as little under 100 as one could imagine),
and if such a man created by this god willingly followed the law, each of
his spermatozoa would manage to fertilize an ovum, certainly after an
intensive and prolonged forepray and afterpray,
and after his last spermatozoon, when blessed with his number of children,
a virtuous man would feel no need for vaginal penetration anymore, let
alone to have any other form of sex with the same woman or women or with
and if such a man still had it nevertheless after that number of times (the
number of good properties above which there should be no other goodness
conceivable) he would, then, be severely punished by this god or his mortal
and if such a man continued to have it nevertheless after his number of
times (a number which never afforded him to masturbate, even if it had been
allowed) he would, then, be killed off, so that the threat of the total
destruction of nature on Earth by human overpopulation would be a little
bit lessened, or even considerably so because hordes of men would succumb
to the temptation of sexual but meanwhile useless pleasures,
and the survivors, in high spirits, would, then, for this reason alone
cheerfully praise this deity's divine foresight, while their belief in
their god's infinite benevolence would even be strengthened.
Lots of people are 'happily married' in that they would rather be married
than not be married, or in that they would rather be than not be married to
their present partner.
The question is only whether their partners are happily married as well
or at least not unhappily married.
69.ENE-71st Early Northwest
THE DUTCH 'OFFICE PARK'
Dutch monarchists apply a so-called 'Opportunity Principle' if and when the
has to be saved at all costs, or, worse, has to be made look nicer than it
This lack of principle on principle is like a nationwide 'office park',
another oxymoronic euphemism, in which the park is democracy and the
office the monarchical system.
70.MNE-71st Late Northeast
THE WORK OF CHTHONIC
In some languages using the Latin alphabet there is a(n almost?) one-to-one
correspondence between pronunciation and spelling.
The spelling systems of these languages were created by intelligent people
for whom consistency counted.
The English spelling, however, is largely the work of chthonic deities that
looked at things from a different
PARTIAL CULTURAL RELATIVISM
I have never heard a cultural relativist argue that the Bible is only
valid and good for Palestine/Israel, the Koran only valid and good for
63.MSW-71st Early Northeast
NOT ALL HETEROSEXISTS CREATED EQUAL
British heterosexists were so smart as not to kill Turing until after the
war had ended (and then they probably only had him kill himself), other,
criminal heterosexists may be so stupid to kill off their Turing before
the war has even started.
69.MSE-70th Late Southwest
MONEY AND JUSTICE
Good people are willing to pay more money for a system than strictly
necessary because it is fairer; monarchists are eager to pay more money
for a system because it is much more unfair.
Men wearing ties must be accompanied by adult women wearing ties
and Women wearing skirts must be accompanied by adult men wearing
70.MNE-70th Early Southwest
WHAT IS YOUR WORN?
Your World Overpopulation Responsibility Number, that is, the number of
biological children you have borne or begotten at the time of your death,
minus 1, if you are a human being with one child, and minus 2, if you are
a human being with two or more children.
(The WORN is 0 for 0, 1 or 2 biological children; 1 for 3 children; 2 for
4 children; 3 for 5 children; and so on.)
63.LSW-70th Late Southeast
IS IT TRUE?
In their intra-Abrahamic ideological fight against IS (Islamic State, ISIL
or ISIS) Obama, President of the United States, claims that religion does
not 'condone the killing of innocents' and Cameron, Prime Minister of the
UK, that 'Islam is a religion of peace'.
They probably never read the Bible, let alone the Koran, except, perhaps,
for the digestable parts of these books.
Is it a white lie, is it a black lie, or is it one of those
politico-religious macro lies?
BULLSHIT OR COWSHIT?
The argument monarchists give — if they have thought about it at all
— why the spouse of a king (regnant) may (and 'must') be called
"queen", whereas the spouse of a queen regnant is not to be called "king",
is as weighty as the argument of a factory manager who says that he cannot
employ women in his factory because there are only men's lavatories.
69.ESW-70th Early Southeast
A REVOLUTION IN CATHOLICIA
Francis, called "Pope" by Catholic Christianists and their
fellow-travelers, has, on his(!) way back from a visit to the Philippines,
said that Catholics do not have to breed like rabbits.
DO NOT HAVE TO!
While nature on Earth (inclusive of the natural climate) is on its way to a
total destruction and eventual annihilation because of human overpopulation
(and overconsumption), Francis is the very first and revolutionary
Catholic leader to tell his believers not that they MUST breed like rabbits
but that they do not NEED to.
All artificial methods of getting children and giving birth, such as
Cesarean sections, are in papal eyes entirely 'licit' but not artificial
The members of his flock remain even morally allowed to blithely continue
breeding like rabbits.
However, health care workers who promote the FREE use of condoms are
denounced as some sort of 'colonizers'.
(Of course, when foreign missionaries came to Africa they never demanded
any compliance with their
ideology, in which harmony with nature and natural equilibrium did and do
not play any role whatsoever.)
With such a kind of revolution in Catholicia there will be even less hope
left for human-scale nature on Earth, if any.
70.MNE-70th Central Month
SPREAD AND SPLIT RAPIDLY
Muhammad was accepted as a prophet because
(he) was the first person (man) to unite the Arabs.
But while the creed of the prophet Muhammad spread rapidly, it also split
rapidly after Muhammad's death in a
The reason had nothing to do with contents, or good and bad principles, it
was just a vulgar struggle for power which divided the Sunni from the Shia
(the dispute being over the succession to Muhammad as a caliph of the
70.MNE-70th Late Northwest
"Christ, the damn crotch is too bloody tight!"
"Sir, would you mind stopping that swearing at once.
This is a decent shop, you're not at home.
My husband never ..."
"Blast it, lady, if you don't like me swearing, then what are you doing
You knew bloody well that this was the men swear section!"
THE MANIPULATION OF SYMBOLS
When you see how kings or queens, with or without the consent of their
governments, confer titles to their subjects, and to whom in particular
(the common wives of their sons who are turned into 'Princesses' or even
'Queens', for example), you may understand why
personally prefer the mathematical to the monarchistic manipulation of
69.LNE-70th Early Northwest
NO PEACE, SECURITY AND
So long as so many, i.e. too many, people still take the Tanakh, the Bible
or the Koran literally and consider it a holy book from beginning to end,
peace, security and freedom will not reign on this earth (nor on the
heavenly bodies to which these people may be going in the future thanks to
science and technology).
70.ENE-70th Late Northeast
RADICAL MEASURES AGAINST TERRORISM
"The authorities will take radical, both short- and long-term measures
As part of these measures the official preferential treatment given by the
state to Christianity over Islam and other
or worldviews will soon be put an end to.
This year Ascension Day is the first to be abolished as a so-called
'public', legal holiday."
A PARTICULAR MYTHOLOGY
It will not serve
to turn the mythology of a South-West Asian people, or of any other
particular people for that matter, into a worldview.
60.ESW-70th Early Northeast
LET SCHOOLS OF THOUGHT CONTEND
In 1957 of the Christianist Era, Mao Zedong, the Chinese communist leader,
made a speech encouraging criticism of the communist system saying "Let a
hundred flowers bloom; let a hundred schools of thought contend".
(And if you made your view known, you might end up in prison for twenty
It is better to start with two schools of thought that differ
substantially and are really free to contend.
69.LNW-69th Late Southwest
A PUBIC SQUARE
What do you call someone who only considers groin-to-groin, that is,
pubes-to-pubes, intercourse acceptable?
NOT ALL ANIMALS ARE EQUALLY STUPID
Vatican-Catholics say that 'Saint Francis' preached to the animals and
that the animals listened to him.
This story is a myth: the only animals that stayed on to listen were the
turkeys that celebrate Christmas and the sheep that celebrate the Feast of
68.ESW-69th Early Southwest
AN UNASHAMED POET
An unashamed poet is a poet who unashamedly adds a syllable to the adverb.
69.LNW-69th Late Southeast
IF I WERE A CHRISTIAN . . .
If i (not a Supreme Being or anything else of that Ilk) were a Christian
i would not only notice that God moves in a mysterious way, but that He,
in an even more mysterious way, usually does not move at all.
Non-rhotic speakers who went to a porn shop have a perfect excuse:
they thought it was a pawnshop.
69.MNW-69th Early Southeast
WHY I AM NOT A WHY I AM
Secular humanists, atheists and others of suchlike nonreligious persuasions
may write articles, even books, about why they are not Christians,
observant Jews, Muslims, and so forth, because in their childhood they were
raised with a specific religious ideology.
They have to justify for themselves and/or the ones who raised them why
they abandoned their former faith (or why they actually never believed
what they were supposed to believe).
I have been so fortunate as not to have had to travel from a religious
creed which was foisted on me to a nonreligious one later in life.
made myself was from
thought which was less well-founded, not to an
supernaturalist ideology, but to a
which was much better-founded than before.
69.LNE-69th Central Month
19 TIMES RESPONSIBLE
Someone like Solomon Burke, the soul singer and 'soul legend', who put 21
assume biological) children and 90 grandchildren (and at his death 19
greatgrandchildren) on this earth, is 21-2=19 times responsible and
90-4=86 times co-responsible for the ever-increasing congestion and, if
human overpopulation and overconsumption are not brought to a halt,
eventual destruction of this planet or at least its natural environment.
(Unless, of course, Solomon's greatgreatgrandparents have only 32-21=11
other greatgreatgreatgrandchildren; and unless, of course, Solomon has no
sibs with grandchildren, in which case he will not be 86 but 90-8=82 times
Equilibrium, let alone natural equilibrium, is not in this
man's Holy Book and, i fear, not in his children's Holy Book either!
65.ESW-69th Late Northwest
Everything America's worst enemies and best friends say on the telephone
or in emails is being recorded by Mormon morons who will keep all these
private communications in NSA's Utah Data Center until Kingdom Come.
I do make the occasional mistake in Englihs but by far not as often as in
68.LSW-69th Early Northwest
One of the typically linguistic phobias is iphobia, the fear of spelling
i the standard way, that is, only capitalizing it at the beginning
of a sentence or when all letters are being capitalized.
People suffering from iphobia may even spell it "Iphobia" in the middle of
Some wrongly claim that iphobia is the fear of short words, the opposite
of hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia, the fear of long words
(which people having that fear abbreviate to just
But the fear of short words is not called "iphobia" but "phobia".
68.MSE-69th Late Northeast
'IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ...' (2)
'If you don't believe in God/Allah, He won't help you or may even punish
It is almost true, except that He is not he but
they, the ones who want you to believe in God/Allah.
'IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ...' (1)
'If you don't believe in Father Christmas, he won't give you presents'.
It is almost true, except that he is not he but
they, the ones who want you to believe in Father Christmas.
68.LSW-69th Early Northeast
FROM THE ONE TO THE OTHER
Russia moved from the orthodox-communist dictatorship of the proletariat
to the orthodox-Christianist dictatorship of the reactionaries.
And the overlap between proletarians and reactionaries was big
enough to make it possible.
68.LSE-68th Late Southwest
The real Homo universalis is a Bi universalis.
THE END OF A CALENDAR THAT OF THE WORLD?
Some people claimed that the end of the Maya calendar on the last day of
the 67th year after the Second World War would mean the end of the world.
(You never can tell whether the folks caliming such a thing really
believe in such nonsense themselves.)
Of course, it was not.
fear that by the time that the Gregorian-Christianist calendar will
be dethroned as a so-called 'Common Era' calendar, we will see the same
kind of claim reemerging among an even larger number of people: 'the end
of the Christian calendar will mean the end of the world'.
The big difference is, however, that the Mayas who designed their
calendar believed in cycles and that, as far as i know, they would not
want the world to end in order to make a myth come true.
Nor did they have the power to do so.
68.ENE-68th Early Southwest
FAIR WORDS MAKE LANGUAGE ALLITERATE
Fair words make fools fain is not really a pretty proverb.
Better examples are: Fair words make fools willing (which is also
the meaning of the archaic adjective fain here),
Fair words make flocks worship,
Fewer words make falsehoods wither and
Free sex makes fools suffer.
59.LSW-68th Late Southeast
VEILS FOR WOMEN, DIAPERS FOR GOATS
The idea that women must wear veils is the product of a culture with a
pathological view of erotic feelings and expressions, a culture which can
make sexual tensions run so high that cock-eyed legalists of religious law
not only force female humans to be veiled but also female goats to be
(And in addition a culture in which the same zealots cannot cope with any
arrangement of vegetables which might be 'suggestive', leading from the
murder of shepherds who do not diaper their goats to the murder of grocers
who 'misarrange' their vegetables.)
CHIMPANZEE AND BONOBO RELIGIONS
The Abraham religions are chimpanzee religions, occasionally with a touch
of bonobo, as in some descriptions of the life of Jesus of Nazareth.
68.ENW-68th Early Southeast
LIBERATION AND LIBERATION
If the people have to liberate themselves from their liberators,
the liberators have to liberate themselves from their pretensions.
67.LSW-68th Central Month
THE DESTROYER'S MEASURE WORD
While nature is being gradually destroyed more and more by human
overpopulation and overconsumption the destroyer expresses what remains
in the number of soccer fields.
68.ENE-68th Late Northwest
CITIZENS AND SYCOPHANTS
Political and military dictatorships, theocracies and
turn citizens into sycophants — theocracies most of all.
THE FOOL IS LOOKING TOO
While the sage uses
finger to indicate the direction, the fool is talking nonsense about the
67.MSW-68th Early Northwest
THE POPE-SNIFFING MEDIA
Not a few public and state media sniff after every fart which
comes from the Vatican and relish in calling these farts sweet.
67.ENE-68th Late Northeast
TWO THIRDS OF RUSSIANS HATE TCHAIKOVSKY
A recent Levada survey shows that in the present-day
Russian Federation 66% of the respondents say that they feel repelled by
homosexual men and 60% by homosexual women.
Some love men, some love women, some love everybody.
65.ESW-68th Early Northeast